Men, How do you reply to an online dating email?

With honesty, courtesy and respect!

Men's online dating is a totally different world to online dating for women.

The online dating email contacts for men is less than 5% of the responses women receive from their online dating profiles and personal ads.

It truly is a Venus and Mars world in many ways, and guys, if you want to soar above the fierce competition online dating and personal ad web sites have created you really need to sit down and seriously evaluate your online dating plan.

Honesty, courtesy and respect are the most important traits you will need to harness in order to excel in the online dating world.

  • Honesty with everything you do, everything you say and everything your write.

  • Courtesy to those that you have contacted, and for those that have contacted you.

  • 100% respect for the person you have contacted and for the decisions they make about you.
Without honesty, courtesy and respect you are destined to be a single guy for a very, very long time!

Let's start out with some real home truths:
  • Women respond to men who can communicate well.

  • Women respond to men who are fun, entertaining and can make them laugh.

  • Women are more in touch with their feelings and emotions.

  • Women are far more attracted to a man who is in touch with their feeling and emotions.

I am by no means an expert on women, but once you start READING AND COMPRENDING women's online dating profiles you to will begin to have a much better understanding of a women's way of thinking toward what they want when it comes to relationships, communication, expectations and romance. I am not saying for one split-second that you create an inaccurate or misleading online dating profile around what a certain person writes - Remember, Honesty! What I am saying is, you need to extend your understanding of the needs of a women, learn how to communicate with a woman and be aware what a woman wants and expects from a potential partner. Hey! I didn't say it was going to be easy! :)

The simple to follow guidelines below of what to include in your email when contacting or replying to a personal ad or online dating profile will certainly go a long way to helping you get over the first few initial communication hurdles, as well as, providing a solid communication foundation and a far greater favourable response rate. :)

If you intend on meeting and dating a number of different people you would be best to get organised. Rather than relying totally on memory, use a note book or start a spreadsheet so you can keep track of your contacts and their basic details. If you intend casual dating women then maybe one of those alphabetically tabbed page note books would be best! :)

Record your contacts details for quick and easy reference. EG: Their online dating user name, their real name, the dating site where you found them, the day of first contact, the day you met face to face, the persons birthday and other contact details if and when you have them. You can also include information discovered during email and chat communication: Favourite flower, colour, fragrance, restaurants, holiday spots, food, wine, music and movies. All this will come in very handy especially at Christmas time, on Valentines Day, Birthdays and Anniversaries.

But let's not skip to far ahead! We have to get the initial contact email written, sent and replied to before you can record to much of anything! :)


Making initial email contact with a woman via her personal ad or online dating profile!

You have spent many hours searching hundreds of potential single women's online dating profiles. You have spent days wading though thousands of ladies personal ads in search of your one true love. Then you see her! A vision of indescribable beauty, a stunning lady you have only dared dream about, up until now! You have just found your dreamgirl, your Aphrodite, your Venus!

Your heart starts racing, your tummy starts fuzzing, your eyes glaze over and your palms become sweaty!

You decided to throw caution to the wind and make contact!

Gulp! Now what?!?!

This may sound rather obvious, you email her! But what do you write?

Online dating email contact tip 1 through to 1000!

Refrain from the pathetic and shallow 4 or 5 word emails.
Stay right away from the sexually suggestive topics.
Avoid lazy and unimaginative one line introductions.
Never try to impress with corny bar and club pick up lines.
Never ever try and send a nakey picture of yourself!

Here are some examples of what NOT to write in your initial contact email:
  • "Hey, Saw ya profile and you look hot! Write back I'm waiting!"
  • "Hi I'm Tony, I like you profile."
  • "Hello Dorene34, verry nice, wanna hook-up cos I'm horny?"
  • "Hey Angel! Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven!"
  • "Hey JA456, You're not really what I am looking for but you may be good for some casual fun!"
  • "Here is a pic of me lying naked in my bedroom, what do you think?"

Sigh! These type of initial contact messages will certainly earn your email a first class express ticket to the Windows trash can.

Right! Now you know what not to write, let's try something totally unique! Something that will be totally unexpected and something that will give you a far greater chance of receiving a positive and favourable reply.

Let's write to her as if she was a real person!

My God man! She is a real person not some electronic bimbo play thing you just happened to stumble across because you had nothing better to do. She is a real living breathing person, with real feelings and with real emotions. Treat her with respect and you will be amazed at where it will take you! :)

When you contact a women via email write as if you were talking to the person across a table in a café. Make your out bragging, without being dominating and without being over-zealous. You don't need to tell her how tall you are, how old you are or what colour hair you have as most of this basic information will be already included in your online dating profile or online personal ad.

Include paragraphs of any common interests, achievements or goals that you share. You will find these outlined in the persons online dating profile. Share a funny true story of yours that relates to their hobbies or interests. Compliment them on their writing style, or any personal or career achievements mentioned in their profile. This will show the person you have taken an interest in them. It will show you have actually read their online dating profile and most importantly, it will show her that you are not just another man type fishing around aimlessly in the online dating ponds. Above all, be sincere.

Avoid topics about personal problems, health issues, ex-partners, how much money you earn and refrain from negative, derogatory or sexually suggestive comments or topics. Any or all of these can be introduced and discussed once you get to know the person a little better.

If your online dating profile link isn't automatically included in the email, include your profile ID or user name so she can check out your profile.

When finishing off your email, once again be polite and sincere. Let her know although you understand she may be very busy you thank her for taking the time to read your email and whether she replies to you or not you wish her every success in finding what it is the person is looking for. (According to the information in her profile - Happiness, Travel Partner, Relationship, 12 kids... etc.)

Before you send your email save a copy of it in a word processor or as a text document for future reference. Read it over a few times to ensure it makes sense and flows. Double check your email for spelling errors, typos and grammatical errors. When you are happy with your electronic literary masterpiece, click that send button! :)

Patience is a virtue!

Once you have sent your email don't just sit there gazing into the computer screen, continually checking your email in box for a reply. In most cases it will take hours, days or even up to a week before you receive a reply. You can use this time to contact any other ladies that may of made it to you short list. Remember to make your email unique to the individual person and don't just send a vague pre-written templated type email.

Email communication isn't always 100% reliable. If after a week you haven't received a reply it could be for a multitude of different reasons. Your email may of been lost somewhere in the void of cyberspace. She may have computer or internet problems. She may be out of town on business or visiting relatives. Maybe she has already found someone and hasn't deactivated her account? If you haven't received a reply after 3 or 4 days send another polite and courteous reminder email asking if she had received your email. Include a copy of the original email you saved. You did save it didn't you? ;) Let her know that you are still keen in getting to know her better.

Generally a second email will produce a reply if the lady is still an active member of the dating site. If you still don't receive a reply after a few more days it is probably safe to assume that you will not be getting one. Don't stress or get to upset about it, just continue on with your quest! :)

No means ... NO!

It doesn't matter what the question or request. It doesn't matter what your mates say! It doesn't matter what you feel! If a person (man or women) says 'NO' then don't have any unrealistic, distorted or misconceived ideas that the person is playing hard to get! I know only to well how difficult it is to accept rejection, and it makes it even harder to accept after putting in so much effort into a creating a work-of-art online dating profile and contact email. But the bottom line is, if a person says 'no' it means 'No' and nothing else but, NO!

It's not easy to tell someone your not interested in them. In my early online dating adventures I actually found this so much harder than writing introductory contact emails. Finding the right words to say "Thank you, but no thanks." without disappointing or hurting a persons feelings isn't easy. Actually it's darn near impossible, but it is far better to be honest and up front with a person rather than to "play games" or lead them on.

Looking on the positive side of No, receiving a polite "Thank you, but no thanks." email gives you that all important closure and this allows you to move on. When you receive a rejection email, you have to hold your head up high and accept it! No if's, no but's this is what is called respecting a persons decision. Under no circumstance should you reply with angry, bitter or "why not" emails. This kind of unwanted attention, persistence or harassment will only serve to have complaints lodged against you with the online dating site administrators, and you could find yourself being reprimanded, or in extreme circumstances you could have your account suspended or even cancelled! Now that's a BIG NO NO! :)

Guys, there are thousands and thousands of honest, loving, caring and sincere single women listed on online dating web sites. Not all the good ones are taken and Ms Right is out there right now just waiting for you to come along and sweep her off her feet! All you need to do is stand out from the crowd by putting in a little creative effort and taking a little time to prepare your introductory contact email. Be honest, polite, patient and sincere, and before you know it Cupid's arrows will drench you like a tropical rain storm in July!... Oh! and remember always use your spell checker! :)

Good Luck, Guys!



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Below you will find more articles which include tips and common courtesies for both men and women to keep in mind when responding to contacts received from your online dating profile or personal ad. Or if you want to skip along to getting started writing your online dating profile you can visit any of the online dating web sites below for inspiration and ideas. Happy writing! :)




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